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Library decides “No books needed”

Posted on April 1st, 2009 by Becky.
Categories: All posts, Books, Random Fun.

April 1, %2009

Today the Westerville Public Library decided to cease ordering and circulating books. “Ehhh…no one really reads them anyway,” said librarian Becky O’Neil. “People only ask me for movies, videogames, and computer help. We thought that this was the best way to address what people want.”

Of course, this decision raises the issue of what to do with the aisles and aisles of books currently housed in the library, as well as the many thousands of titles which, in spite of this current trend, seem to be checked out to people.

Several library teens were surveyed for ideas about what to do with the books. Suggestions included “build a fort,” “coffee table,” “drink coaster,” “foot rest,” and, in cases of extreme desperation, “sled.”

Other teens described why they won’t miss the books. “i nly spk n txt,” one girl said. “idk wuts a bk?” Another said, “If it hasn’t been made into a movie or a TV show or an online game, it might as well be written on a stone tablet.” Yet another chimed in, “The problem with books is they don’t work with my ADD, so — hey look, a bunny!”

The teens wished to remain anonymous.

To give your opinion on this decision, please comment below, being sure to include the text “I didn’t double-check what day this was posted, and therefore I fear you may be serious.”



Comment on April 2nd, 2009.



Comment on April 8th, 2009.

…books ARE needed! i read them (usually)(sometimes)(maybe)(?)


Comment on April 8th, 2009.

i dont know what type of crazy person would do such things to books. Books have never hurt anyone and i dont think they will, so why dont we just leave the books be so people who dont have a.d.d. can read, thanks


Comment on April 22nd, 2009.

Why in the WORLD would you get rid of BOOKS!!!! That, my friend is just not right. SOME PEOPLE actualy read books every now and again!!!


Comment on May 10th, 2009.

this is sooooooooooo not funny!!!!!!!!! reading this( before finding out it was a joke) almost made me throw up!!!! i was in tears at the stupidity of those “teens.” oh man. that was scary!!!!!!! but the joke was definitely successful!


Comment on July 28th, 2009.

That is hilarious!!! HAHAHAHA!!! I do like books and They are important because you really can’t put everything into a movie or video game. While movies are really fun to watch, books are still the best!


Comment on August 3rd, 2009.

If that were to happen, i don’t know what i would do. Books are my LIFE!
Before i realized this was a joke, i was fully prepared to march down to the library and slap some sense into the people who had made that decision!


Comment on August 13th, 2009.

its called a library for a reason you are supposed to have books


Comment on August 25th, 2009.

this SUCKS poo i WANT & NEED BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Comment on December 30th, 2009.

Many people read books, I am one of them, when i read that statement i couldn’t believe they actually were going to get rid of books. I go to the library at least twice a month and get around 35 books each time.


Comment on March 11th, 2010.

this post is very offensive and just perpetuates the stereotype that teens are dumb tech junkies that don’t know the power of a good book which is not true. I don’t believe that these so called quotes have any credibility what so ever, not to mention the ADD comment was below highly offensive many children with learning disorders love to read. I believe that you should put a little more thought into your posts and stop trying to get the cheap laugh.


Comment on March 12th, 2010.

No one loves books or teens reading books as much as me, the teen librarian who posted this April Fool’s joke. I’m thrilled by how many people would be upset if this was true — good thing it’s not! Cross this off your list of fears, and never trust anything posted on the internets on April 1. :)

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